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by Abigail Van Buren

Women's Opposing Viewpoints Could Doom Couple's Future

DEAR ABBY: I am a Christian who is passionate and vocal about being an ally to the LGBTQ community. I have close family members and friends who are part of that community, so I never waiver in my support or understanding. I am also a feminist. These beliefs are deeply a part of who I am and how I live my life.

Recently, my boyfriend's mother and I got into an argument about my support and advocacy for the LGBTQ community. She's very conservative and opinionated, and her viewpoints are outdated. She has denounced the women's movement and scoffed at the idea that men and women aren't treated equally in this day and age.

I tried my best to make good points, but the conversation ended with her telling me I need to pray because my beliefs aren't consistent with my faith. This has alarmed and offended me because my boyfriend remained silent while his mother chastised me. Now I'm worried about our future. If we have children one day, I would never want them to be exposed to such hatred and ignorance.

When I expressed these concerns to my guy, I got the classic, "Well, that's just how she is" response. How can I have a healthy relationship with my boyfriend's family if we are at such odds with our core beliefs? -- OPEN-MINDED IN THE SOUTH

DEAR OPEN-MINDED: You can't. There are none so blind as those who will not see, so don't waste your time trying to get your boyfriend's mother to see the light. And don't hold your breath waiting for your boyfriend to defend you because when it comes to prying open her perspective, he's not up to it. You should have another conversation with him about this, but if you make no headway, recognize it's time to move on.

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