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by Abigail Van Buren

Lighthearted Wedding Invitation Rubs Recipient the Wrong Way

DEAR ABBY: We received a wedding invitation in the mail today from my husband's nephew. First of all, we are to RSVP by tomorrow. (What?)

Here are our options in responding:

Gladly attend

Regretfully decline

Resentfully attend

Enthusiastically decline

I'll surprise you

The invitation also asked which song we'd like "blasted over our awkward small talk." Granted, there is some animosity among the groom's father's siblings, but I think this is rude, sarcastic and inappropriate. I have a sense of humor but do not find this funny. Am I off the mark? -- INSULTED GUEST IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR GUEST: Obviously, you and your husband would have preferred a more formal -- and possibly more timely -- invitation. Considering the sorry state of family relations on the groom's side, the wording may have been an attempt at humor. It may also have been sincere. If you cannot gladly attend, rather than fume, send your regrets.

Read more in: Holidays & Celebrations | Etiquette & Ethics | Family & Parenting