DEAR ABBY: I have been married 40 years. Ten years into it, my wife had an affair with her high school first love, "Will," that resulted in a child. We raised the boy as our own.
Fast-forward 20 years. She has had another affair with Will and continues to want to stay in contact with him. She insists that she's in love with me, but says she also loves him and "needs him" in her life.
She will be traveling to her hometown soon and plans to have dinner with him. She insists there will be no sex and that her heart and mind are in a better place. Must I grin and bear this or insist on no contact whatsoever with Will? -- OTHER MAN IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR OTHER MAN: I understand why you would be worried. Where her high school sweetheart is concerned, your wife appears to lack willpower. You do not have to tolerate anything that is painful for you. Because your wife cheated with Will not once but twice, you are within your rights to insist that she have no more contact with him.