DEAR ABBY: When I am in a frenzy preparing to host a party and one of the guests calls a few minutes before arrival time to say they are going to be late, I get really annoyed. I think, please just be late and don't bother me when I'm putting the finishing touches on everything or welcoming other guests.
I assume these individuals are trying to be considerate, and if they were the only guest coming, I agree they should call. But if they are one of many, it's a distraction to have to answer the phone and listen to their excuse. Am I wrong? I don't know if I'm the only one who gets annoyed when this happens. Am I being ungrateful when someone is trying to be considerate? -- FRENZIED IN GEORGIA
DEAR FRENZIED: I think so. Your guest is trying to be polite and is afraid that you will worry. (Fat chance!) This isn't an unusual occurrence, but a charming host will not reveal annoyance. It takes only a second to reply, "We'll see you when you get here!" and get off the phone.