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by Abigail Van Buren

Wife's Close Friend Gets Too Close for Husband's Comfort

DEAR ABBY: My wife, "Grace," and I have been happily married for 48 years. We're retired and enjoy an active sex life. Grace has a female friend, "Ricky," we have known more than 45 years. She's a close friend, and they often get together for lunch.

Ricky has been an out lesbian for many years and, in the past, had female companions. The problem is she repeatedly asks Grace to do things on Saturday evenings. She has also invited her to spend the night and tells her how much she loves her. My wife loves Ricky, too, but strictly as a friend and has not encouraged her in any way.

I'm not ordinarily the jealous type, but I'm convinced Ricky is in love with my wife. I have been tempted to tell her to quit making advances, but I don't want to cause the end of the friendship. I have told Grace how I feel, and she agrees. In fact, she has told me about some of the requests Ricky has made and she has rejected. I believe Ricky has crossed the line. What do you think? -- CROSSED THE LINE

DEAR CROSSED THE LINE: Your wife is not responsible for the fact that her longtime friend may be in love with her. I agree that asking your wife to spend the night is inappropriate, but Ricky may want more of Grace's time because she's simply single and lonely. The person to set boundaries would be your wife, who needs to tell her friend that her Saturday nights belong to you, and as much as she loves Ricky, she's unavailable as a romantic partner.

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