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by Abigail Van Buren

Boyfriend Would Rather Party With Friends Than Stay Home

DEAR ABBY: My wife has fibromyalgia and Behcet's disease, an autoimmune disorder. We also have a 5-year-old daughter with special needs. My wife constantly complains about how much pain she's in as she spends most of her days smoking and playing on her phone. She refuses to exercise and flits from doctor to doctor trying different pills and homeopathic remedies.

I'm in the military. I work full time and go to college full time. I take care of the cooking and cleaning around the house. She has gained a tremendous amount of weight, and I am no longer physically attracted to her. I'm also beginning to feel like her illnesses are an excuse to take advantage of me. If I hear, "You promised to love me 'in sickness and in health'" one more time, I'll explode. I feel trapped and I want to run. What do I do? -- FEELING DOWN IN DELAWARE

DEAR FEELING DOWN: You are carrying a heavy load. But as tempting as it may seem, running away won't make your problems disappear. You have a child who needs you and a wife who is legitimately sick. It's time to explore what services may be available to you and your family through the military. A good place to start would be It is a 24/7 support resource for the military community that offers, among other things, face-to-face non-medical counseling.