DEAR ABBY: I am getting married soon, and I'm thrilled to have found love. I have ex-co-workers I want to be there. I also have longtime friends who still work with me. The problem is they gossip at work all the time. I know if they attend my wedding, there will be trouble in my work life and friendships.
How can I tell them not to gossip at work about who was at my wedding or who I excluded? How can I tell them this is my day and I should be able to have the pleasure of being surrounded by friends and loved ones without worrying about attendees being mean? Please help. -- TIRED OF GOSSIP
DEAR TIRED: You are focusing on the wrong thing. Concentrate on enjoying your special day. You can't control what other people will or will not do. If you are asked after the wedding why someone was absent, respond that budgetary limitations prevented you from including everyone you would have liked to invite. If you do, it will appear to be less of a popularity contest.