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by Abigail Van Buren

Mother Laments That Her Kids Lack Accomplishment and Drive

DEAR ABBY: I have grown children. All of them are underachievers. When contemporaries talk about their children getting jobs, getting married, having kids, going on vacation, buying a house/car, adopting a pet, I have nothing to contribute.

My children do not have lives; they work low-paying jobs and scrape by. Worse, they have no ambition to do better. They no longer live with me, but often gather at each other's places to play video games when they are not working. They are not enjoyable to be around.

My life is otherwise good, and I don't want them bringing me down. My marriage is solid, I work hard, we travel a few times a year and enjoy dining out and meeting with friends. We go to sporting events, live plays, concerts, movies, etc. What is a mother to do? -- LET DOWN IN MISSOURI

DEAR LET DOWN: Your children are adults. If they were motivated, they would be doing more with their lives than playing video games and scraping by. Be glad they are independent and have good relationships with each other -- it's a plus -- and continue living your life. You can't live theirs for them. And please stop comparing them to the offspring of your friends and acquaintances. If you do, you will be happier.

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