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by Abigail Van Buren

Wealthy Mother-in-Law Monopolizes Time With Granddaughter

DEAR ABBY: My daughter married into a wealthy family. Since the beginning, her mother-in-law has used money to control her. Although it bothered me, I didn't say anything.

We now have a granddaughter, and the mother-in-law is controlling how much time we get to see her. Unfortunately, my daughter allows her to do this. What can I do? I am heartsick. -- THE OTHER GRANDMA

DEAR OTHER GRANDMA: Your mistake was in not speaking up when you first noticed what was going on. If you haven't expressed your feelings, you should. Whether it will lead to any improvements, I can't guarantee. But if it doesn't, and your daughter continues to allow herself to be ruled by her MIL's checkbook, you will have to accept that the daughter you raised has seriously misplaced values.

You are obviously someone with a lot of love to give. A program that has been mentioned before in my column -- and that might interest you -- is Foster Grandparents, which is sponsored by the Corporation for National and Community Service. The website is nationalservice.gov. Click on "Programs" and you will find it listed under "Senior Corps."

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