DEAR ABBY: Is it normal for men to sulk or get angry when they don't get sex when they want it? I've been married to my husband for more than 30 years. I run several miles a day and, with all the work I do, I don't always feel like having sex. Lately, I have been under a lot of stress, so I haven't been in the mood.
The other night, he did his usual sulking. Then, as he often does, he tossed about in bed, repeatedly and roughly, while we're trying to sleep. The whole bed shook. Another night, he stuck his elbow in my ribs to be sure he got my attention.
Sometimes he'll grab my butt really hard while I'm trying to sleep -- in the middle of the night, mind you. I end up having sex with him so he leaves me alone and I can sleep.
I have tried sleeping in another bed. But then he comes to that room and repeatedly kicks the mattress. If I lock the door, he kicks the door. So, I have sex with him so I can live in peace. Do most men do this when they don't get sex as often as they like? -- SPOUSE SULKING IN THE NORTH
DEAR SPOUSE: You have tolerated this for 30 years? What you have described is spousal abuse. Most men do not behave the way your husband does, bullying and coercing their wives into marital relations. Please discuss this with a licensed mental health professional. His behavior is off the charts, and you need more help than I can give you in a letter.