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Man's Silence About Past Therapy Distances Fiancee

DEAR ABBY: My fiance and I have been together for four years. We live together. Recently, I was talking to him about mental health and the benefits of therapy, which I firmly support. He said he thinks it's a waste of time. When I asked why, he replied that it hadn't worked for him. I asked what he meant by that (I wasn't aware that he had ever even been in therapy), and he said he went when he was 12 or 13.

After that, he clammed up. He wouldn't discuss why he went or share any details at all. Normally, we can talk about anything. I feel like if it hadn't been important, he wouldn't have reacted that way.

Since then, I have been feeling distant from him because of this. I'm not angry, and I don't want to force him to tell me anything, but as his future wife, I'm concerned that he would keep his past from me.

I would like for him to at least open up about the basics. I want us to be close, but I don't want to invade his privacy or make him feel disrespected. Should I try and forget that he said anything at all? -- TORN IN GEORGIA

DEAR TORN: No, just wait a few weeks before you ask him why he reacted the way he did. By then he may be better able to articulate it. You should be aware before you marry him of what the issue was, particularly if it involved depression or molestation.

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