DEAR ABBY: When my husband and I were dating, he told me that he'd had a consensual sexual relationship with his cousin, "Irma." He said they were in their early 20s and very immature. They parted ways because they both knew it was wrong, and Irma moved to another state. He told me so one day I wouldn't be blindsided should we ever be married.
Well, we got married, and this cousin has kept her distance until recently. Irma has now started to attend their family events. We live too far away to go, but I dread the day when we do and she's there. Should I act like I don't know what went on before I was in the picture? Nobody in his family knows this ever happened between them.
I have told my husband it makes me very uncomfortable and that it almost seems she attends hoping to run into him. Why else would she? I would be very ashamed of having done this and would continue to keep my distance.
My husband says I have nothing to worry about because Irma means nothing to him. What do I do if I run into this woman at one of these family gatherings? -- NOT HAPPY IN THE USA
DEAR NOT HAPPY: I know it may be uncomfortable, but when your paths finally cross, be polite. You don't have to do anything but exchange the basic social amenities, and spend your time socializing with the other relatives.