DEAR ABBY: When I started dating my husband, "Ralph," 22 years ago, I made it very clear that I would never move to his hometown, which is six hours away. Even though it may seem selfish, my wish was to be near my family. Our relationship progressed anyway. We've been married for 15 years, live in my hometown, and have three little boys.
Ralph is 42, homesick and wants us to move back home now to be around his parents because he's lived around my parents for 15 years. I told him my intentions were made crystal clear before we got married and I wasn't moving. His response was, "So you were worth moving for, but I'm not?"
There are other reasons for my not wanting to move there, but the bottom line is that I wish he had been true to himself before deciding to marry me. I think it's a bit late to be playing this game. I'd like your thoughts, and please give it to me straight. -- STAYING PUT
DEAR STAYING: OK, here they are. I think your husband has a valid point. Marriage is supposed to be about compromise, and for the last 15 years he has lived in your community.
I wish you had shared what your other reasons for being against moving are, because they might have influenced my opinion. But from where I sit, I think you owe it to Ralph to give it a try. Perhaps you and your family could rent out the home you're living in and rent a place in his hometown for a year. That way, if you can't adjust, you would be able to move back near your own family, which appears to be your first priority.