DEAR ABBY: My husband wants to help in the kitchen with the dishes. Call me stupid to complain, but he is causing me more work, and I don't know what to do.
This is the second marriage for both of us, and I am trying hard to be a kinder, gentler wife. When my husband washes the dishes, pots and pans, he misses spots, sometimes lots of them. Also, he is impatient and doesn't want to wait the three minutes it takes for the hot water to get to the kitchen, so he washes in cold water.
I tell him I will take care of the dishes, but then he gets upset with me. How do I handle this without hurting his feelings or his pride? -- KINDER, GENTLER WIFE
DEAR K.G.W.: Sometimes it's not what we say but how we say it that can hurt someone's feelings or pride. Tell your husband that you love him and know he wants to do this for you, but, respectfully, his "talents" lie elsewhere. Because he is willing to help, entrust him to the important task of doing the rinsing and/or drying.