DEAR ABBY: My husband of 20 years has always been a smoker. I worry nonstop about it affecting his health. Our children have begged him to quit.
A couple of months ago we made a bet. I would give up social media for a week if he would quit smoking for a week. It was awesome! He quit smoking -- or so I thought.
I found out last week that he only quit smoking at home. He has still been doing it at work. I asked him to please not start smoking at home. After all, if he can go all weekend without a cigarette, why does he need to smoke at all?
My issue: I caught him smoking in the garage. I was furious and didn't handle it well. Am I wrong for being upset that he went against my wishes? By the way, the kids don't know he has started again. -- SMOKE-FREE WIFE
DEAR SMOKE-FREE WIFE: No, you're not wrong. It's understandable that you are upset. You love your husband. If the kids don't know he has started smoking again, they'll soon realize it because they'll smell it on him.
It should be clear to you that your husband has a serious addiction to nicotine. You have my sympathy, but you cannot "make" him do this or do it "for" him. Secondhand smoke is unhealthy for those who are exposed to it, so unless you can convince your spouse to get help from his doctor, the rule should be that he smokes outside the house when he needs a "fix."