DEAR ABBY: My brother has been married for 11 years to a woman who is very controlling. She's 32, he's 38, and they have two kids.
She has all the traits of a bully. She decided if, when and how they got married, whether to have kids, when and how many. She also decides what he wears and what friends he has. She doesn't allow him to socialize with his friends, controls his work schedule, home schedule, etc. When things don't go her way, she yells and screams.
I'm afraid this unhealthy relationship is beginning to affect their kids. I hate to see him taken advantage of. What can I do or say to him to help him be more assertive? Or should I talk to her instead? -- CONCERNED SISTER
DEAR CONCERNED SISTER: You can't wave a magic wand and make someone who isn't assertive be assertive. Nowhere in your letter did you mention that your brother has confided that he's unhappy with his wife running things. If he does, suggest he talk to a psychologist for tips on how to change the dynamic in his marriage. If not, you should stay out of it.