DEAR ABBY: I have been dating "Brian" for five months. We are very compatible and have discussed spending the rest of our lives together. He is 54; I am 59.
The deal breaker for me is his "daughter" ("Allison"), who is actually the daughter of a friend of his. Allison and Brian's two grown sons grew up together. She's 24.
Allison no longer hangs out, talks with or visits Brian's sons, but she is close to Brian. She has no girlfriends, no male friends and she's estranged from her parents. Brian helps her with school projects, they go to lunch, walk on the beach, text/talk on the phone, go on bike rides, go hiking, etc. He tells me he's a father figure to her.
I have met Allison and I think her behavior is a little too flirtatious for a daughter/father relationship. She also made a couple of inappropriate comments to me during our first meeting. When I mention to Brian that I don't think it's a healthy "friendship," he becomes defensive. Should I bow out now and cut my losses, get to know Allison better, or tell Brian it's me or her? -- THIRD WHEEL OUT WEST
DEAR THIRD WHEEL: Brian seems like a nice, caring person. You have known him for only five months. I vote for standing pat a while longer and making an effort to befriend Allison. If she's truly as alone as you describe, she could use an older, more-experienced woman in her life. You might even find you like her rather than feel threatened by her. However, if that's not feasible, you can always cut your losses and run, but not right now.