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by Abigail Van Buren

While Wife's Sex Drive Races, Husband Is Stuck in Neutral

DEAR ABBY: I've been married almost four years. My husband and I are both barely 40, still quite young, but we have sex only once or twice a month. Our relationship is great, and we love each other. I just wish we had sex more often. I've told him I would like more, but it stays the same.

When we talked about past relationships, he mentioned women hounding him to have sex, so I don't think it's me. I don't want to cheat, but I'm afraid I eventually will if my needs are not met. I don't want to leave him, but I don't want an almost sexless marriage.

He's a very masculine man, so I don't know how to ask him to go to the doctor to get something to increase his sex drive. Should I do that? Or should I get things to supplement our sex, like toys? -- NEEDS MORE IN FLORIDA

DEAR NEEDS MORE: You appear to have married a very masculine man who has a very low sex drive or who may be borderline asexual. If marital aids would help you, by all means get some. You should also have a frank talk with your husband and suggest he consult his physician about the discrepancy in your sex drives.

Marriage counseling might help to improve your level of communication, but if none of the above work, you will have to decide if you are prepared to live with the situation as it is.

Read more in: Marriage & Divorce | Sex & Gender