DEAR ABBY: I'm a lesbian and have been in a relationship with a woman for two months now. She never offers to pay for our dates, and she hasn't planned or executed one, either. We're both very feminine, although she would be considered slightly more so than I am. I feel this is important because I'm somehow the more dominant one. How can I address this concern without hurting her? I would like her to reciprocate somewhat. -- DOMINANT IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR DOMINANT: Address the imbalance in your relationship by being straightforward about it. Good manners dictate that when someone has been asked out, treated, etc., that person should reciprocate. Because that's not happening, you need to discuss it with her. To do so isn't hurtful; it's common sense, because unless you do, this pattern will continue.