DEAR ABBY: I have had one major and one minor bout with cancer. Everyone I know treated me the same and were helpful except for one longtime friend I'll call Brandy.
You see, I changed and grew as a result of having cancer. The others seemed to accept this, but not Brandy. She still expects me to "snap back" and do everything I liked to do before. She can't accept that I want to try new things and have let go of others, sends me "gloom and doom" articles about cancer, and even tried to fix me up with someone even though I am happily married. Brandy treated me like an invalid, even after I recovered.
She does not like change and became angry when I suggested that both of us had changed -- perhaps too much to sustain the friendship. I tried explaining it to her, but she didn't understand. A therapist advised ending the friendship as gently as possible, so I did.
Do you think I did the right thing? We used to have so much in common. -- NOTHING'S THE SAME IN NEW YORK
DEAR NOTHING'S: Although you used to have a lot in common with Brandy, your cancer changed you. Someone who sends "gloom and doom" articles about the disease and tries to destroy your marriage by fixing you up is not a friend but a saboteur. You absolutely did the right thing by following your therapist's suggestion.