DEAR ABBY: After 32 years of marriage, my wife went out and got a tattoo on her shoulder. It's about 8 inches by 6 inches (quite large), and she did it without any advance discussion with me, which has left me sort of shocked. Her position is that it's her body and she'll do what she wants. This has driven a wedge between us, and I'm not sure if we can move forward. What is your advice? -- UNMARKED IN NEVADA
DEAR UNMARKED: To me, what's important is not that your wife got the tattoo without discussing it with you, but her motive for doing it in secret. My advice is to do nothing in haste or in anger. Try to get her to explain to you what the tattoo symbolizes to her, because it may be important. After that, whether you decide to move forward -- or move out -- is something only you can decide.