DEAR ABBY: My family includes a niece and her husband with three kids ranging in age from 8 months to 7 years old. The middle child, a 5-year-old girl, is allowed to choose her own outfits for family gatherings and school, with appalling results. Her hair, which is long and tangled, goes unbrushed. Her ill-fitting clothes are worn and inappropriate for the weather and school. When I discussed it with her parents, their answer fell flat.
Because she's learning to dress herself without parental guidance, she's not learning what's appropriate. When they came for Thanksgiving dinner the child showed up in summer clothes -- sleeveless top, thin cotton skirt, etc. By the end of the evening, she appeared ill.
I'm surprised neglect charges haven't been filed against the parents. Any suggestions to get across to them that their parenting style is lacking? -- WORRIED RELATIVE
DEAR WORRIED: Your dilemma isn't how to get across to the parents that they need to teach their child better fashion choices. If that little girl is going around with tangled hair and summer clothes in cold weather, it may be that her parents are unable or unwilling to give her the basics. I, too, am surprised that the school hasn't contacted Child Protective Services to do a welfare check. Since they haven't, you should talk to these parents again and voice your concerns.