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Widow Questions Her Happiness Dating a Man 30 Years Younger

DEAR ABBY: I am a 63-year-old widow. I have not been with a man since my husband died 10 years ago. I am now dating a 31- year-old man. I am deeply in love with him. He says he's in love with me, too, but his family says he doesn't know what love is. He was previously in a four-year relationship with someone his own age.

Am I crazy for dating a man who is 31? He's everything I have always wanted, and what I would consider the perfect man for me. He claims his only problem with dating me is that I will probably pass away in 20 years, and he will be alone and devastated. My concern is I feel I am preventing him from future children and a possible wife his own age. He says he doesn't want kids, but I'm not so sure. Please tell me what to do. I have never been in this situation before. -- HELP, PLEASE, IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR HELP, PLEASE: As relationships evolve, couples learn more about each other. You didn't mention how long you and this man have been involved with each other, but if it has been less than a year, you would be wise to slow things down. It would be in your interest to know why his family thinks he doesn't know what love is. The answer to that question could be enlightening.

As to your not being certain that he doesn't want to be a father, in spite of the fact that he says he doesn't, not everyone wants children. If you aren't sure that everything he's telling you is the truth, I suggest you wait a few more innings before swinging for a home run.

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