DEAR ABBY: So often we learn from your column what a good marriage is not -- how not to treat someone we love. Could you please describe for my granddaughter just what a strong, loving marriage is? Paint a picture of what to look for in a husband and how to create a marriage that will last while bringing joy to both parties. Your experience can help me explain this to her. -- PONDERING STILL IN HONOLULU
DEAR PONDERING: I can try. But before I do, I should mention that a good marriage may mean different things to different couples. To me, a good marriage is a solid partnership between two people who respect each other, care about each other and are mutually attracted. It helps if both have similar goals and values, and are willing to support each other in good times and in bad. Like anything that's worthwhile, marriage takes work, patience and willingness to compromise. And of course, communication -- which includes listening -- is key.