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by Abigail Van Buren

What "Being in Love" Means

DEAR ABBY: I've been married for more than 50 years to a man I love with my whole being. But for years I've heard people say about their spouse, "I love him dearly, but I am not in love with him."

Would you please explain what this means? What's the difference? -- JUST GOTTA ASK IN ARIZONA

DEAR JUST GOTTA: I think the phrase means different things to different people. To some it indicates that the excitement, those "fires of passion," may have cooled to a simmer and been slowly replaced by a calmer and deeper kind of affection. To others it may mean they weren't deeply in love in the first place.

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