DEAR ABBY: Every year, my adult siblings and mother exchange Christmas gifts. Since my husband died in 2012, my sister has told me she has made a gift in our name to the Muscular Dystrophy Association. She also makes a production of telling this to my children.
Abby, the MDA sends the person in whose name a donation has been made a notification about it, but we have never received a notice of any kind from them. When I contacted them and asked, I was told a donation was never received.
I always give my sister an expensive gift. After finding out what has been going on, I am really upset. Is this acceptable? I have no problem with not exchanging gifts, but this seems to be a way to receive without giving. -- HURT IN GEORGIA
DEAR HURT: Lying is not acceptable, and your sister should be ashamed of herself if that's what has been going on. Tell her that, having received no notification from the MDA acknowledging her donation, you contacted them to ask why and were "shocked" to hear no donation had been made. If she can't produce proof of payment, from now on agree to exchange Christmas cards -- if you're still speaking.