DEAR ABBY: Over the years, we have helped out our daughters as much as we could. One daughter, "Doreen," has needed more help than the others. She has four children who are near and dear to our hearts. They have been living with us the better part of their lives.
Doreen married a guy who is the father of three of the children. (I'll call him John.) He's in trouble with the law constantly and can't hold a job. After we moved them all in with us, John decided he wanted to move back home to his family, so he packed up everyone and left. We told Doreen we could no longer support them financially, and that if they wanted to move away, they would assume that responsibility.
Now she's writing us saying they can't pay the rent and their electricity is being shut off. She wants us to "loan" them money. We refused. Now we can no longer talk to, text, write, Skype or communicate in any way with our grandchildren. The SIL says we lost that privilege. My wife is distraught. Can we fix this? Will our daughter come around? -- DISTRAUGHT IN FLORIDA
DEAR DISTRAUGHT: You cannot fix what's wrong with your daughter and her husband by giving them money, so you were right to refuse. They moved out with the understanding that your financial help would stop. Your daughter is now trying to coerce you into giving them money through emotional blackmail.
For your own sakes, I hope you will not give in to it because if you do, there will be no end to it. As to whether your daughter will come around, it will happen as soon as she needs you because her husband has bailed on her.