DEAR ABBY: My husband of seven years has always placed Wife No. 1 (I'm his second) on a pedestal. He often calls her to drive him to doctors' appointments, take care of his finances -- he even puts some of our bills in her name. He also talks to her about our marital problems and what we do in the bedroom. I feel like second string here.
I'm the mother of his children and I have always stood by him. I even made an extra effort to befriend the ex, only to find out she used it to her advantage to get more buried into our personal lives.
What can I do about this situation? I'm ready to call it quits, but I'm concerned that the two of them will make me out to be a selfish monster for wanting to come first or for leaving. Please help me. -- FED UP IN TEXAS
DEAR FED UP: I'll try. Draw the line and offer your husband the option of seeing a licensed marriage counselor. If he refuses -- and he probably will -- get some counseling without him. While you are there, describe your husband's continued involvement with his ex and discuss whether being unable to tolerate this "marriage of three" means you are "selfish." Frankly, I don't understand how you have tolerated it this long.