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by Abigail Van Buren

Feelings Are Hurt by Wardrobe Request From Bride

DEAR ABBY: Recently, we were finishing up the details on my brother's wedding. He's marrying a wedding planner who has a very rigid vision of what she wants. One of these ideas is mixing and matching bridesmaids dresses.

All the bridesmaids were asked to find their own gowns in either one of the wedding colors, which was a creative and cute approach. The problem is, the bride has now requested that extended family members not wear the wedding colors so the bridal party will stand out. Several people took offense and felt "excluded."

I always thought this was a rule of etiquette, but others seemed unaware. Is it OK for the bride to make this request? And shouldn't others be OK with it? -- BEWILDERED BRIDESMAID

DEAR BEWILDERED: The answers to your questions are yes, and yes. The bride's request is a simple one. Unless the people who took offense were upset because they aren't a part of the wedding party -- which is their problem and not the bride's -- no one should have been offended. The malcontents should try to comply to the extent that they can and not rain on the bride's parade.

Read more in: Holidays & Celebrations | Etiquette & Ethics