DEAR ABBY: I have been through quite a bit of turmoil in the last two years. My boyfriend died last year. We had been together for 13 years. He was only 32 and his death was unexpected.
I am realizing now that I didn't handle my grief very well. I had no real support system at the time and soon after he passed, I reconnected with an old flame I had been in contact with on and off through the years. We have become somewhat serious, but I realize that before I can go further with this relationship, I must deal with the feelings of grief that I have for the loss of my boyfriend.
Any advice that you could provide would be greatly appreciated. I am at a loss on how to move forward in a healthy way. -- LOST IN SAN FRANCISCO
DEAR LOST: I'm sorry for the loss of your longtime boyfriend, but I'm glad you wrote. That you recognize you need help to process his loss before you can move forward takes an admirable sense of self-awareness. If you have a doctor or a health insurer, ask for a referral to a licensed mental health professional (a psychologist, social worker, etc.). That person can help you to work through your unresolved emotions by seeing you privately, or by referring you to a grief support group.