Join the debate. Vote Now on the Dear Abby Poll of the week.

by Abigail Van Buren

Husband's Request to Dress Up Seems Silly to Informal Wife

DEAR ABBY: My wife of 15 years is a beautiful lady I find more attractive every day. I compliment her often, but her self-image isn't particularly good. She's a top-level executive -- not your typical "girly-girl."

She has never been the sexy-dress type, in the bedroom or out in public. She doesn't have to dress up for work on a daily basis and prefers wearing sweats at home, which is fine 99 percent of the time.

I have asked her for a special night out in which she would dress up for me, just a bit on the sexy side, followed by some late-night fun at home. When I do, she laughs off the idea and says I'm silly.

I'm certainly not the only one who finds her attractive. She gets compliments from others often. How do I find another approach to this? Or am I being selfish? -- HOPING IN MINNESOTA

DEAR HOPING: I don't think a husband telling his wife what he would like is selfish. The key to a satisfying marriage is communication. I do think it's wrong of her to belittle you by telling you your fantasy is silly. It's not. Many couples enjoy occasionally dressing up and role-playing. Take her shopping so you can pick out something together that's dressier than sweats or what she would wear to work, and perhaps you can arrive at a compromise.

Read more in: Marriage & Divorce | Sex & Gender