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by Abigail Van Buren

Widow's Courtship Inspires Jealousy in Her Roommate

DEAR ABBY: I have been a widow for almost a year. I have met someone I really like and we have started to date. My roommate, "Eva," encouraged me to meet this man (I'll call him Warren) and get to know him if it would make me happy, so I did. Warren and I have a lot in common. We can talk to each other for hours.

Eva now tells me she doesn't like having Warren at the house because it "reminds her of how alone and single" she is. She says she doesn't want him here even if she isn't home. This is causing problems because my work schedule makes it easier to have him over for coffee so we can talk before I leave for work, or on days off when she's at work and I'm at home.

When I offer to set Eva up on dates, she refuses. She told me she "hates" men and all of them are nothing but liars and cheaters. Please help. I want to help my friend and also to have a good relationship with Warren. I feel happiest when we're together, but I don't want to lose my friend over this. -- TORN IN TWO OUT WEST

DEAR TORN: Because of Eva's aversion to men, continuing to try fixing her up isn't going to work. You didn't mention whose name is on the lease, but if it's Eva's -- and she's not comfortable with Warren coming to visit -- consider moving to a place of your own or in with a roommate who's not jealous.

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