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by Abigail Van Buren

Friend Can't Let Go of Long-Distance Romance

DEAR ABBY: My lesbian friend, "Giselle," broke up with her significant other, whom she met over the internet. They have actually never met in person because her girlfriend, "Samantha," lives in Canada, but Giselle says they were soul mates. Samantha has moved on and now has another sweetheart, but Giselle won't move on.

It has been many months and Giselle is still trapped in this bubble of sadness. She won't stop talking about how much she loves Samantha. I kept reassuring her everything would be OK and maybe she would find somebody else like her internet friend did.

After a few months, she became angry with me, and accused me of not being supportive of her trying to get Samantha back. She also accused me of not understanding "what girl-to-girl love is," which makes no sense, considering that I'm bi.

This has been going on for nearly a year. Should I back off, or must I continue to be supportive of something I know can't happen? -- TRYING TO BE SUPPORTIVE

DEAR TRYING: Giselle is angry at you not because you haven't been supportive, but because she's upset her feelings for Samantha aren't returned. This is called "displaced anger," and you happen to be the nearest target. Your life will be a lot more pleasant if you step out of the picture until Giselle figures out for herself that her romance has fizzled and decides for herself to move on.

Read more in: Love & Dating | Friends & Neighbors