DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Van," and I have been married 10 years. He's 40; I'm 33. Our daughter just turned 7. Shortly after she was born, Van informed me he didn't want to have more children. He said he was happy with just one. It was hard for me to accept, but eventually I came to peace with his decision.
Recently, he began talking about wanting another child. I was, of course, very excited. After much discussion we decided we would start trying last April, but when the time came, he confessed he'd had a change of heart. He said he's getting too old to have a newborn, and worries about how old he'll be once the child is grown, etc.
I respect and understand his reasoning, but I'm having trouble moving past my disappointment. I spent so much time trying to accept that we wouldn't have more kids, having the opportunity again was a dream come true. I don't want to pressure Van into changing his mind, but I'm starting to resent him. Our daughter has said she'd like a sibling, too. Abby, what to do? -- HEARTBROKEN IN GEORGIA
DEAR HEARTBROKEN: Under the circumstances, your resentment is understandable. Your husband should not have raised your hopes if he was ambivalent about something you want so badly. Couples counseling might help you to overcome your disappointment or, if he would consent to it, help him to work through his fears about becoming a father again. Forty is not over the hill, and many men have added to their families at that age.