DEAR ABBY: I'm four months' pregnant by my ex-boyfriend. We ended our relationship six months ago but continued to see each other for sex. He's in the Army and has been diagnosed with depression and PTSD. At first he was my knight in shining armor, but after I moved into his house, he become mentally and physically abusive.
He is now in a new relationship. He changed his phone number and hasn't checked on me or our baby in weeks. I want him to have a relationship with his child, but every time I look at him I see a liar, a manipulator and an abuser who doesn't care about either of us.
How do I get over my feelings and convince him to be in our child's life? Or are my feelings justified and I'm just being a protective mother? -- PROTECTIVE MOTHER
DEAR PROTECTIVE MOTHER: What a sad letter. It would be interesting to know how much of his abusive behavior was a result of his depression and PTSD. But if you think that a mentally and physically abusive man, who has changed his phone number and done his best to get out of touch with you, is a suitable father figure for a child, you are kidding yourself.
You will, however, have a chance to make him live up to his financial responsibilities to the baby if you discuss this with an individual who is in a position to help you -- an attorney. Don't wait; start the conversations now.