DEAR ABBY: Have you any suggestions about letting go? A former friend is involved in a New Age sex group. He can no longer hold a casual conversation without expounding on their practices and "theology," as he considers it. My rational self understands that his life is his to do with as he wishes, but my emotional self grieves that he is distancing himself from family and friends.
I know I'm not my brother's keeper, but he was like a brother to me, and I blame myself that I was unable to reach him when this was merely something he was curious about instead of a radical new lifestyle. How do I accept that he's a lost cause and quit worrying about him? -- NOT MY BROTHER'S KEEPER
DEAR NOT: Because you are having trouble accepting that your former friend is a "lost cause," view it as his having taken a different path than you have chosen. If you prefer not to hear about your friend's alternative lifestyle, you should say so.
If he respects your feelings, he will stick to subjects the two of you have in common and quit "expounding." If he can't do that, then recognize that as much as you might wish to, you can't live someone else's life, and then move on because friendships either evolve or they wither.