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by Abigail Van Buren

Woman Fears Move out of the Country Will Meet Disapproval Closer to Home

DEAR ABBY: I recently moved in with my boyfriend and now live two hours away from my parents. (Before, it was only 10 minutes.)

My boyfriend has been offered an incredible job in a different country and has asked me to go with him. It means I'll have to quit my job, which is a good one. But he has promised to financially support me during the two years we would be there, including adding to my usual savings and paying the mortgage on the condo I left when I moved in with him. He's talking about an engagement and marriage when we get back.

My problem is my parents. Their definition of "success" is marriage and family. Because they never taught my brother and me how to communicate, I'm deathly afraid to tell them that we are moving to a different country. The thought of upsetting them is paralyzing me. I am losing sleep and considering breaking up with him so I can keep the peace with my family. What do I do? -- TORN UP

DEAR TORN UP: Allow me to offer a suggestion that may keep peace in your family. Because your boyfriend is talking about marriage "when you get back," I propose that you suggest to him that the two of you be married before you leave. Problem solved.

Read more in: Love & Dating | Family & Parenting