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Mom Who Wanders at Night Could Be Ill or Just Nosy

DEAR ABBY: My mom lives with me and my hubby. Recently I found out that she walks around at night because she hears noises or is restless -- and puts her ear on our bedroom door, too!

I was shocked. I think this is a complete invasion of my privacy, and I was embarrassed to no end. I now avoid getting intimate with my hubby, and he has no idea why.

I have to be sensitive about what I say to Mom because she underwent surgery recently and she has a lot of medical issues. How should I handle this? -- NO NOISE FOR MS. NOSY

DEAR NO NOISE: The first thing you should do is tell your husband why you have been avoiding intimacy. If you don't, he may think it has something to do with him or the way you feel about him, and that's neither true nor fair.

Your mother's wandering around at night may be nosiness, or it could be insomnia or other medical issues. Her inability to sleep should be mentioned to her doctor so the cause can be determined. If you're correct that it's nosiness, then it should be handled firmly -- by you and your husband -- and some other living arrangement for her should be made.

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