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by Abigail Van Buren

Bride Resists Extending Wedding Invitations to Keep Peace in the Family

DEAR ABBY: My daughter is being married in June. Her father -- my ex -- has let her know she must invite his new wife's parents to the wedding. They are drinkers, and have in the past been very rude to my daughter. She has no relationship at all with them and doesn't want them at her wedding. She is aware that this will cause hard feelings with her stepmother and her father.

My soon-to-be son-in-law called me asking for advice. I said maybe they should be invited to keep peace in the family, but my daughter is very upset at the idea of having these people around on her "special day." Any advice? -- WEDDING INVITE IN WISCONSIN

DEAR WEDDING INVITE: Your ex-husband's new in-laws are not related to your daughter and do not appear to have made an effort to befriend her. Because of that, I see no reason why they "must" be invited, unless your ex is footing the bill for the wedding.

If this is the case, and the wedding is a large one, the couple could be seated "in Siberia," which might be a less than satisfactory, but workable, solution. (Why they would insist on coming under these circumstances, I can't say, but some people will do almost anything for a free dinner.)

Read more in: Family & Parenting | Holidays & Celebrations | Etiquette & Ethics