DEAR ABBY: My mother is 70. She lives alone and has been diagnosed with mild dementia and hydrocephalus. She has fallen numerous times and hurt herself, can no longer drive and needs help with household tasks.
The problem is, a relative keeps asking her to baby-sit her 5- and 7-year-old sons. The doctor has said in front of Mom that she shouldn't, because the boys will distract her and she'll have a hard time focusing on her balance and getting up.
I have told this relative that Mom shouldn't be watching the kids, but she refuses to listen. (Other relatives say she will be fine if she does.) My mother loves watching these kids and I understand that. But I'm more concerned about her well-being. Not sure what to do about this. Can you help? -- CONCERNED IN TENNESSEE
DEAR CONCERNED: Speak to the doctor and see if he/she will put in writing what was said to you and your mom about not baby-sitting. If you get it in writing, you can share it with the mother of those children and the other relatives.
Frankly, as concerned as I am about your mother losing her balance because she is distracted, I am equally concerned about the welfare of the kids. If your mom should fall and hit her head or break a hip, would they know what to do to help her? And as she becomes more confused, if something like a fire should happen, would she be competent enough to get the children out and call the fire department?
What you have described could be a recipe for disaster, and I am shocked at the irresponsibility of that mother.