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by Abigail Van Buren

Daughter Shuts Door on Mom in Retaliation for Remarriage

DEAR ABBY: I am 54. My daughter is 25 and married with two kids. Her dad and I have been divorced for almost 10 years. Three years ago, I met a wonderful man. After dating for about a year, we were married. It's been heavenly; I love my life.

My problem is my daughter. She's angry that I remarried. She told me she should be first in my life. She no longer calls me Mom and now calls me by my first name when she talks to me, which isn't often. I am no longer allowed to be around her or my grandchildren.

I am heartbroken. I feel like she expects me to choose between my husband and her. Abby, she is married and has her own family. I was very lonely until I finally found happiness. I don't want to be cut out of her life and I have no intention of leaving my husband. Please tell me what to do. -- HEARTBROKEN IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR HEARTBROKEN: For your own emotional well-being, accept that you have an immature, selfish, resentful daughter who is determined to punish you for going on with your life. Much as you might wish to, you can't change another person. You can, however, change yourself by looking straight ahead and toughening up your hide.

That your daughter would punish her children by depriving them of a grandmother who loves them for the reason she has is disgraceful. My advice is to move on, and if you're "stuck," talk about it with a licensed mental health counselor.

Read more in: Family & Parenting | Marriage & Divorce