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by Abigail Van Buren

Too Much Honesty Could Be Spoiling First Dates

DEAR ABBY: I have been single for almost six years and have had no luck with the dating scene. Every time I go on a date, I perceive it as a date that went extremely well. But when I go to contact the guy the next day, I get no response in return.

I have major trust issues to begin with from past relationships, and it's hard for me to let my guard down. Although I try to be as open and honest with the guys as possible, it just doesn't work. I know the whole cliche of "the right one is out there somewhere," but what can someone do when she just feels like giving up completely on dating? -- GIVING UP IN STOCKTON, CALIF.

DEAR GIVING UP: The one thing you shouldn't do is give up and stop trying. Not knowing what you are doing on these first dates, I can only surmise that while being "as open and honest with guys as possible," you may be giving them so much negative information that you're scaring them off.

In a way, dating is like sales: It's important to communicate positive information about the product you are selling (you) and downplay the negative (i.e. "I have trust issues because someone done me wrong."). It might also be helpful to have an honest talk with some of your friends and ask them what you may be doing wrong.

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