DEAR ABBY: I am 55 and have never lived by myself. I married at 19, moving from my parents' house to live with my husband. We divorced a few years later, and I raised my two kids alone. They are in their 30s now. I did remarry and we were together for 23 years before I filed for divorce.
At the beginning of my separation, I moved in with my daughter and grandson, which benefited us both financially. I'm financially stable now, and so is my daughter. I'm ready to move out on my own, but my daughter says that's not fair because she wants to finish college and needs my help to get her through this. I'm proud that she works and goes to college full time.
My sister says I should stay because if I leave, my kids may resent me. It's a hard decision for me, because I want my independence and my own life. I have been a caretaker for as long as I can remember. I want to be my caretaker now -- solo.
Am I wrong to want this? Should I stick around another three years until my daughter is finished with college? Am I selfish to want my own life? -- WANTS MY OWN LIFE
DEAR WANTS: You wrote that you and your daughter are both financially stable at this point. Does she need you to be her resident baby sitter?
At 55, if you want your freedom, and it wouldn't cause a financial burden on your daughter, you should have the freedom to live the life you want. If, after the move, you would like to contribute child care on an as-needed basis, it would be a loving thing to do. But to maintain the status quo out of fear that you will be resented if you leave strikes me as a poor reason for staying.