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by Abigail Van Buren

Man Looking at Gay Porn May Be More Than Merely Curious

DEAR ABBY: I've been with my fiance for three years and I'm very much in love. A few months ago I asked to use his phone to look up something on the Internet because my battery had died. It opened up to a gay porn site! I was shocked and asked him if it was something he was looking at. He admitted that it was.

Nothing like this has happened to me before, so I began asking if that's what he likes and is into. He assured me the answer was no. He said he looked because he was simply curious about it. He told me he loves women and doesn't want to be with men. He said he was just looking.

I believe him, but is this normal behavior? -- WEIRDED OUT IN THE WEST

DEAR WEIRDED OUT: I took your question to an expert on the subject of adult entertainment viewing, Larry Flynt. He said that while CURIOSITY is normal, not many heterosexual men make a habit of viewing gay male porn sites. He added that if your fiance is a regular consumer of this kind of entertainment, he may have latent homosexual tendencies.

I then consulted Jack Drescher, M.D., a psychoanalyst and expert on gender and sexuality, who told me that some people fantasize about people of the same sex, but never act on it. According to Dr. Drescher, what is important is that you and your fiance are able to talk about sex honestly and openly. If you need more assurances, continue this discussion so that you both will know what you're getting if your betrothal leads to marriage.

Read more in: Love & Dating | Sex & Gender