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by Abigail Van Buren

Decision to Circumcise Causes Festering Anger

DEAR ABBY: I am a young man who is currently in college. When I was an infant I was circumcised, and I feel violated that my parents decided to circumcise me without my consent. When the doctor performed the surgery, he took too much off, which causes me pain.

When I was in grade school, I was sexually assaulted by an older classmate, but I feel much more violated from the circumcision because it took a part of me that I can never get back. I am filled with hate and anger toward my parents, even though I know it is unfair to them because they believed they were making the right choice at the time.

My parents know how I feel and are sorry, but I still have these negative feelings toward them because I can't get the procedure undone. Do you have any suggestions how I can overcome my dilemma and build a better relationship with my parents? -- CUT SHORT IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR C.S.: Yes, I have several. All of them involve talking to doctors. The place to start would be your student health center to determine exactly what is causing your pain and if there is help for it. A doctor there may refer you to a urologist, who may be able to get the problem corrected.

In addition, I urge you to talk to a licensed mental health professional to help you work through your anger because it may be misdirected and a result of the sexual assault you experienced in grade school.

Read more in: Health & Safety | Family & Parenting | Mental Health