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by Abigail Van Buren

Threats of Suicide Keep Couple in Hostage Relationship

DEAR ABBY: I have been in a rocky relationship for 10 months, and I'm not sure how you get out. I have tried multiple times to leave, but every time I tell her, she begs me not to, says horrible things and threatens to kill herself. She says she'll never be happy again, that I "always do this" and it hurts her so much. It makes me feel so bad I just give in and give her what she wants.

She doesn't trust me. I have to give her all of my passwords and she checks my phone daily. She has to know everything I'm doing, and if I don't tell her, look out! The next world war is going to happen. I have told her many times that if she can't trust me, there's no way we can be together because it will make a miserable life for both of us.

Her constant worrying whether I'm going to leave her is starting to get to me. I really can't take this anymore. I have considered some extreme things to get out because I'm so unhappy, and I know she is, too. I have tried everything. Please help me. -- STUCK IN A NIGHTMARE

DEAR STUCK: It is time you realize that you can't fix what's wrong with this woman. Her insecurities are a bottomless pit. You have described a hostage relationship, not a loving one.

So pack your things and get out of there NOW. If she threatens suicide and you know how to contact her family, alert them after you have gone. But do not pause, do not explain and do not look back. Your safety and your sanity depend upon it.

Read more in: Love & Dating | Mental Health