Join the debate. Vote Now on the Dear Abby Poll of the week.

by Abigail Van Buren

Mom and Daughter Launch Into Premature Ring-Shopping

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost eight months. We love each other and talk often about marriage, family, etc.

The other night -- just for fun -- I looked online at rings and showed my mom a few I really loved. She quickly dismissed all of them, and started telling me how I need a big stone and that it needs to be expensive. Then she went online and looked herself and was telling me which ones I should be interested in. Mom offered to take me to a jeweler's to find the "perfect" ring.

She has always been a helicopter parent, but now, as my boyfriend and I are becoming more serious, she's going into warp drive. How can I tell her gently to butt out? Also, what's your advice on the ring situation? -- DAUGHTER OF A HELICOPTER MOM

DEAR DAUGHTER: You and your mother are both jumping the gun. "Talking often of marriage, family, etc." is not an engagement. If you allow your mother to involve herself in this, I predict you will never get engaged because your boyfriend -- if he's smart -- will run for the hills. When and if you do decide to tie the knot, the two of you should go to a jeweler together and select something he can afford and you will enjoy wearing. Period.

Read more in: Family & Parenting | Money | Love & Dating