DEAR ABBY: I have an issue with my daughter marrying a man who has no job. She has been supporting him financially. He has had a few jobs, but he gets fired or quits within a few weeks or months.
My daughter is 30 and never married. She's an assistant professor at a good university and a leader in her field of education. Her intended has no career and no prospects. He asked her to marry him without consulting me. Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I would have expressed my concern about his lack of career.
I can't alienate my daughter by saying the wrong thing. But what if she can't work someday and he can't support a household? He has a million excuses. I don't think he's the man she thinks he is. My life lessons tell me he may never be the man she thinks he could be. I have come to the conclusion that marrying him would bring her only misery. What should I do? -- VERY WORRIED DAD
DEAR VERY WORRIED DAD: It would not be wrong if, without putting her fiance down, you expressed to your daughter your concern about his employment record (or lack of one) and the impact it may have on their future. And when you do, raise the question of what she thinks might happen if for some reason she becomes unable to work, because it's a good one, and something she should carefully consider before tying the knot.
After that, accept that at 30, your daughter is an adult who has the right to go forward with the marriage if she chooses, and keep your fingers crossed.