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Sister Fears Her Wedding Will Be Beginning of Family's End

DEAR ABBY: In less than a month, I am being married to my same-sex partner of 4 1/2 years. My brother and I spend time together at least once a month -- if not more -- and he has always given me time with my nephews. Our conversations tend to be centered around lighthearted subjects and the occasional funny joke on our parents. Unfortunately, having heart-to-hearts has not worked well for us. He's five years older and very religious.

I have been out to my brother since I was 19, and the conversation didn't go well. He is refusing to come to my wedding, and I see this as the beginning of my having to choose my partner over him and my nephews.

Of course, I will want to spend Christmas with my wife -- which will mean that instead of being a family together, I will no longer have Christmas with my nephews. Any advice for a way to approach him, or to be at peace with the future of my family? -- SAD SISTER

DEAR SAD SISTER: It's time to have another heart-to-heart talk with your brother. He has known about your sexual orientation, and yet you are still a part of his sons' lives. Does he plan for that to change after your wedding? He may not, but if you ask that question, at least you will know where you and your fiancee stand.

Because he doesn't plan to attend the wedding doesn't necessarily mean that you will be excluded from the family. However, if it does, I am sure you, like many other people, will find others who are willing to give you the emotional support you need. The loss should rightly be your brother's, not your own.

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