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by Abigail Van Buren

Truth Be Told: Lying to Boyfriend Is a Big Red Flag

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have been together for four years. I love him deeply, but I have lied to him about certain things. I feel guilty about it, but I can't bring myself to tell him the truth because he has a temper.

One lie I told was that I was laid off from my previous job, but I really quit. He didn't want me quitting, but I did it for my own good. I was having a nervous breakdown, and all I felt were negative thoughts when I worked there. Although I found a better job months later, I never summoned up the courage to tell him the truth.

We don't live together. I'm 24 and he's 26. Do you think this lack of communication is a reason to break up, or am I being too sensitive about his temper? He doesn't abuse me, but he won't talk to me if he doesn't have things his way. -- UNSURE IN THE WEST

DEAR UNSURE: I'm glad you're not living together because if you were, your problem would have serious ramifications. Your boyfriend may not be physically abusive, but he IS controlling. Subjecting you to the silent treatment is emotionally abusive, and so was deciding "for" you that you should remain at a job that's stressful and unpleasant.

You may love this man deeply, but from my perspective the relationship isn't a healthy one. If you want to end it, you are justified.

Read more in: Love & Dating | Work & School | Abuse